Originally posted as a guest post on Andrew Voigt’s blog
Unmet expectations are at the core of our frustrations. If you are anything like me, I’m sure you have a list of standards and expectations that you expect to live out and accomplish. What if I were to tell you that the standards and expectations you and I set for ourselves will never be lived up to?
A great question you and I can ask: What are some standards and expectations that I set for myself that I need to let go? (Consider writing each of them down in a journal).
The year was 2010. Two people that I deeply trusted hurt me. These two people were some of my closest friends. Not only did I share my life with them, but we all shared life experiences together. After selfish decisions, manipulation, lying, not holding on to friendship, and practicing good ethics, we all fell out. In other words, trust was broken, which left me broken. I remember saying to myself, “I don’t think I will ever be able to trust people again.” Continue reading
Growing up in the inner city of Ypsilanti, MI there was something about finding friends in the neighborhood. I can remember moving to a new neighborhood, getting on a bike, riding down the street anxious to see what kids were on my block. This is how I’ve found many of my friends that I call my brothers today.
Brotherhood, is a component of being in community. Brotherhood means to connect with other human beings and share in relations with one another. For me, brotherhood is something I cherish. During life’s most challenging moments I know for certain I can reach out to one of my boys and they would be there to support and encourage. Continue reading
Majority of minorities/people of color have been taught since a young age to suppress feelings, to fight through, to not talk about struggles and trauma which has led to many turning to substances, drinking, sex, money, etc…
For many of us who grew up in the hood/lower economic areas we didn’t have resources nor the mindset to turn to professional help. There was a silent hush of you do not tell people your problems and let others know what was going on inside the home. Continue reading
There I am.
Breathing too hard to understand
Loud thunder above
Mind renting space to the surrounding forces
Here I am.
The ground shakes…
Body broken from the journey
The soul feels…
My voice reveals Continue reading
2017 was one of those years for me. Emotionally and physically I went through it. From getting sick early in March to battling with the sickness for the rest of the year put me on a rollercoaster ride I did not expect going into the year. I had aspirations that 2017 would be the year that I got back on track physically. Let’s just say that did not happen.
2017 was the year I learned a lot about myself. Through sickness, self-reflection, dealing with anxiety, making some poor decisions and going through counseling for a few months I was finally able to connect some dots and answer some questions I always had. For one, I am not as crazy as I thought I was! That’s a relief. 🙂
As a man and as an athlete, I was taught to fight through my emotions, not to feel, just tough it out and if you do feel it means you are soft. Years and years I suppressed my feelings. In tough pressure like moments, I would resort back to childlike behaviors and coping mechanisms that are quite frankly, not healthy. I never knew why I would resort back but I’ve learned this is what the brain does when it does not know new healthy ways to deal with problems.
I remember the first time I went to a testimony service. It was around 2005, the year God led me to surrender my heart to Him. I was 17 at the time. The pastor got up and said, it is time for testimonies. I wasn’t too sure what he meant or what was about to happen next. Over the next 20 – 25 minutes, members of our congregation began to share about their life and about the big God they serve. Stories of God’s faithfulness. Stories of hope. Stories of God coming through and providing just what they needed. Although this was a new experience for me, being there and listening was quite encouraging.
I pray often that my life will serve as a testimony of how good God is.
Water lines coming down my face.
Walking through a dark and deserted place.
Dim light in front of me.
Shadow behind me.
What a reflection.
Melodies in my head.
Singing, “we’ve come this far by faith.”
Wondering what’s it going to take?
Deep, deep in need.