Help Me! – An Ode to Black Men

Can you hear my brain screaming?
I’m yelling out for you.

From the slums and the struggle
To the grind and the hustle.
I’m just trying to make it my baby.

I dreamed I would never be here
Reality is, I’m here,
And I don’t like it.

Have you ever felt what it’s like to carry a legacy with no hope?

It’s weighted on me
I know you’re waiting for me,
But I got this vest on.

And it’s too heavy to carry by myself
So I’m alone trying to push.
Where you at?

Can you see my heart beating?
I know you are looking
You should have noticed by now.

Here I am, with regrets on my heart.

I’m guilty. I should have reached out, and I didn’t. For whatever reason, I thought you would push through, but you didn’t. You got out and the way you went out, you thought it was the best way for you. I wish I could have dialed your number to say; there’s a better way!

I wish you could see all the love that’s here for you. We cry for you. Life isn’t easier without you here. We’re thinking through the memories, wondering if there was something we could have done. An extra phone call, take you out eat, listen to every single burden that weighed on your heart.

But we didn’t.

……..

It is time we have a conversation about our mental health with someone professional.

If you are reading this and you have a struggle that is on your heart, if your soul is torn, if your mind feels dark, family, please do not continue in your struggle alone. There is someone in your life that cares. Seriously!! You don’t have to suffer by yourself.

I have thought at times in my life, that it is just me, that’s faced with tough situations. That I was the only one in mental darkness and no one would understand. This is a lie! I’m not alone and neither are you alone! There is someone that has walked through what you are faced with right now. For real!

There is someone you can begin to trust to share every single dark thought and struggle you’ve encountered.

I’m here for you family. It is time we get the help we need! I know there hasn’t been much conversation in the black community about seeking counseling and healing mental struggles, but the time for health is now. I spent the last two years in counseling. I will forever be an advocate to erase the stigma of mental health in the black community because what we’ve seen and experienced in the black community is not normal.

Many of us are scarred and as we face our scars, we will see each one tells a story; a story of redemption and hope.

Everyone needs professional help.

Hear me when I say this, trauma sucks, and it is hard to talk about because we have to relive the moments that traumatized us, but man did I need to let out every single struggle, traumatic event and secret I had hidden in my heart. I am a better husband, leader, son, friend and brother because of the hard work that I put in. You can do this too!

There isn’t a single thing that I have experienced in my 32 years of living that I have not talked about. It’s your turn now!

I am here to walk you through the process. I am here to pray alongside you. I am here to answer any questions you may have. Yes, it is scary. Yes, you may not want to talk about it. But trust me it is so necessary! I’ve been there with every single question you are wrestling through right now about counseling. It’s worth it. You are worth it! If you do nothing else for yourself, please do this!

HEAR THIS FAMILY:

Your life matters! We are better with you in it! You don’t have to give up. I know this feels like the best option, but trust me, it is not. You and I, with the grace of God, can work through anything we are faced with today. There is a God that wants to see us heal and become the people that He has designed us to be! No lie, He wants us to thrive here on earth making a difference in the lives of others. We got this family!

You matter! There is help available for you to overcome whatever you are facing. I trust this. I’ve worked through my hardships and continue to do so. You can work through yours.

If you need help, I can help point you in the right direction. Don’t give up! Please!

You don’t have to run from the conversation. You can run to the conversation!

MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES:

Counseling that has helped me heal:

http://www.gracelifeinternational.com/
https://bareitercc.com/

Messages on mental health that have helped me heal:

https://transformationchurch.tc/connect/care/mentalhealth/

Books that have helped me heal:

• Grace for the Afflicted – Matthew S. Stanford
• Your Body Keeps the Score – Bessel van der Kolk
• Grace Walk – Steve McVey
• Emotional Healthy Spirituality – Pete Scazerro
• Wounded Healer – Henri Nouwen
• Life of the Beloved – Henri Nouwen
• Emotionally Healthy Leader – Pete Scazerro
• Hero – Derwin Gray
• Grace is Greater – Kyle Idleman
• Search for Significance – Robert McGee
• Leading on Empty – Wayne Cordeiro
• It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way – Lysa Terkeurst
• Kill the Spider – Carlos Whittaker